Two Poems...Syllabic Verse...Same topic

Wasted

You died alone by the bar
Jobless, homeless, lifeless you lay
Only the cracking red brick supports you
It is the only thing you have not abandoned

Breathless, and eyes wide open,
Your glazed look in death unchanged
From your glazed look in the life you forgot
To live. You knew you would leave, you knew you would die

That golden liquid you hid
No longer inside, drowning you,
Killing you. Instead it seeps from your pores
The stench distracting middle class men passing by.

You used to be like these men.
Heavy briefcase, red tie, shiny shoes.
But you traded it all in for the booze;
It must have been worth it, to die for addiction

Somewhere you had family,
If only you had remembered
To come home without square pockets one night.
The bottles obvious, despite attempts to lie.

Garbage bags full of these square
Golden bottles fill the closet,
Revealing every cruel word you mumbled
Shattering hope of returning sobriety

Dead, still in front of that bar
Unmissed but still unforgotten
You lie. Begging for undeserved pity
Another beaten dead dad drinks alone.

Maybe someday I’ll miss you
When I am playing with my kids
Wishing they had a grandfather like you
When I was young. But then I’ll remember the truth

And be glad you are still dead.
_________________________________

Loss of the Child

You have killed me
I look you in the eyes
And have no idea what I see
It’s a horrible disguise
But you have nowhere else to flee

I am dead now
Because you left me here
Son of a bitch chose it over me
I have hatred now, not fear
From your golden bottle I’m free

It has killed you
You can’t live on your own
The toxic syrup seeps from your pores
You can’t eat, you are just bones
Your life consists of liquor stores

You are dead now
Lost all your family
Choosing between detox or your car
Your home is now on the streets
A once happy man dies by the bar

Minutes tick by
You are fading too fast
I hate you, your life, your addiction
All I remember is past
Before this, your chosen infliction

Alone we die
You chose your death alone
To escape from the world
Your failures etched now, in stone
Life is gone as daddy’s little girl

Lacking in BLogness

I have to apologize to my one or two readers that I have not been keeping up to date. I am high in tiredness and homework but low in desire to write. I am also lacking ammo....I think my entries need to be upbeat at least a little and right now stress does not seem so upbeat.

One funny story though...I was asking my mom last night about recycling my old ink cartridge and she was saying that if we had a place I could recycle it but sometimes it is more of a pain than its worth. I said well, it might be a pain to find it, but I know we have a place to recycle them, I mean this is [Enter College Name]...I wouldn't be surprised to find a place to recycle butt hair.

I was trying to think of something obscure and that was what came out....whatever :-P

A few things for the day...

First, I have to study for German because no matter how hard I try, I can only understand it if I look at the written word, which is not so promising for my next fall semester.

Second the Big Brother 10 Season Finale is tonight and is probably going to be the highlight of my fall...It really can't get any better than nights watching Big Brother.

Third, I am very thankful to my aunt who was an English teacher, for getting me through my Sestina writing experience alive. And a thanks to my uncle for marrying her.

Forth...I really should write my lab reports tonight, but they aren't due until Friday. It might be breaking tradition to do them before Thursday.

A small rant...or two...or five

This weekend I tried to sign up for a smartypig.com account to save money for a memory foam mattress. I wanted to save $100 by January. Unfortunately, Smartypig doesn't think this is good enough. First of all the minimum saving amount is $250 and the minimum monthly deposit is $25. I really don't think it is fair that my goal was not worthy of smartypig's ideal deposits. Sorry my goals aren't lofty enough.

Also, when did Campbell's soup stop making lentel soup?

And, why do my professors all give me homeowork at once?

AND who invented the sestina, because it sucks to write?

AND I am pretty sure my bonsai is dead and gone :-(

Oh the places to go?

I am having a hard time deciding what do to next year. I have plenty of options, just no idea what would be best...

Going Abroad
Vienna--I am taking a year of German to prepare for this, just in case. I have always been interested in Austrian history, the German impact on Austria, and they have some great literature programs. The Mountains, the fact that it is so close to the Swiss boarder, Germany, involves lots of field trips, and is where the VonTrap family came from are all great positives. On the down side, I would have to know German really well to be able to do a home stay, which is my intention. Also, they eat a lot of pork and fermented veggies which aren't really my thing.

Somewhere in Italy (Florance, Milan, Rome)--I have wanted to go to Italy pretty much since I was born. Specifically, I am interested in Venice, but all the programs allow for a week in Venice so that could be cool. I would not have to know the language to study here. I could do a home-stay with no worries. I love pasta, red meats, and red wines, which pretty much define Italy. I also think on of my high school friends will be in Milan, so that may make things a bit more interesting and exciting, not to mention an easier transition. Italian would be taught while I was over there, so I would still get to know the language.

London--This program is run by my school and would be the least expensive. My advisor is teaching in London the same semester I would be over there, thus I would be taking his classes. I would not have to worry about language at all, food would be pretty similar, and getting around would be easy as well. Also, my advisor promised me we could go to Venice and Vienna for a week or two. On the downside, I don't feel like I would be getting much culture if I went to London. In my mind, a place where everyone speaks the same language as me would be too easy. I want a challenge.

Transferring

Stanford--I want to go to their law school and they have an amazing campus, amazing dorms, and tuition would be practically free. Also, I would have an aunt and uncle close. Plus great weather.

Harvard--Great school, a cousin lives close and is totally willing to go in halvsies on an apartment. Bad weather.

Drake--Close to friends, still an alright school, but I am thinking no on this one, even though friends are begging me to go here....

Downside to transferring--I don't get to go abroad.

Dropping out of School
Sounds like a bad idea but really, it would be so much easier. Down side? No money for ever and ever and ever. Yeah, not gonna do this....