As a disclaimer, I try to be as conscious as possible of other people's feelings and am pretty open-minded and race and nationality really means very little to me when it comes to people alllllll being people.
Yesterday, at work, I was helping a customer when I heard my co-worker say (repeatedly) in frustration "I don't understand what you want!" When I finished with my customer, I walked over to see what the issue was. This customer was wanting time for his prepaid phone. Time, with this company, is sold by days, in thirty, fifteen, or seven day cards. The gentleman had forty dollars on the counter and obviously wanted time for his phone but my co-worker could not convey that it is either 41 dollars for fifteen day premium cards (which includes texting and long distance) or 45 dollars for a thirty day card (which is just for talktime). My boss kept telling him "we need someone to come in to speak for you." (apparently not remembering that translator and interpreter work with pretty much everyone) I quickly realized that this gentleman spoke only Spanish as he kept repeating "No comprendo!" Now, I try to resort to using my broken Spanish only in dire need seeing as how whenever I speak one word of Spanish they start trying to hold a conversation with me and I have no clue what is going on. I figured this was a situation where I could try and help, so I walked over and asked him "Trienta Dias? or 15 (idk how to spell it in Spanish, but I said it in Spanish, obviously) dias?" The gentleman then turned to me and said "No comprendo." Me, being frustrated at this point as well, said, "No you can't tell me you don't speak English OR Spanish!"
We eventually figured out he wanted the thirty day card and I that he only spoke Spanish, but I guess he never learned to count.....
This got me thinking about another beef I have with people about being politically correct: If you can call me white and that's okay, there is no reason I shouldn't be able to call another race brown or black or whatever. I am no more WHITE than they are whatever color they are stereotyped. I think that is the fairest way to describe people because no one has ever referred to me as Italian German Portuguese Native American American, so there is no reason anyone else should be called African American unless they just moved here from Africa. Plus, "Asians" are rarely called "Asian American" or Latinos "Latino American"
And I am sorry but no one can ever "reclaim" the N word. It is a bad word and is derogatory and always will be. By trying to make it a common word people are insulting those who endured it as a derogatory term and, more importantly, the lines between safe and unsafe are blurred. Those who do not use the word are more likely to respect people than those who do use it. There is no differentiation between those who are using it with friends or those who are using it to be cruel. I'm sorry, but as a female, the C word will never be okay whether I tried to "reclaim it" or not. And if I did try to reclaim it, I couldn't just limit it to women being able to use the word, I would have to allow men to use it too and I would never be able to tell if they meant it in a "good way" or bad way. It's the same thing with the N word.
Thats my rant....if anyone has anything to say about it, let me know, I am always up to have my views challenged and sometimes changed/corrected.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Finals Update!
Personal Essay officially worst paper ever written by english major!
Thanks to Teacher Aunt for proofing and suffering through it!
Legal cheat sheets still to write for research class.
16.5 hours to freedom...
Thanks to Teacher Aunt for proofing and suffering through it!
Legal cheat sheets still to write for research class.
16.5 hours to freedom...
Monday, December 15, 2008
Finals Week!
You know it is hell week/finals week when college town Walmart is out of ramen noodles, twizzlers (thank God Walmart carries Redvines which I happen to love way more than twizzlers anyway), ice cream, and mountain dew. Apparently, since I noticed the absence of all these things, I am a typical college student...good news or not I don't really know.
Also, this is post # 30 for me...exciting, I know. And the only reason I noticed this is because I should be studying... and I am wondering, why, after 30 posts, has no one asked what the one thing I would never change is? No one has to ask...I just think it would be the first thing I would do if I were reading this blog instead of writing it.
Only approximately 37 hours and 15 minutes left until a month vacation!
Also, this is post # 30 for me...exciting, I know. And the only reason I noticed this is because I should be studying... and I am wondering, why, after 30 posts, has no one asked what the one thing I would never change is? No one has to ask...I just think it would be the first thing I would do if I were reading this blog instead of writing it.
Only approximately 37 hours and 15 minutes left until a month vacation!
Friday, December 5, 2008
....Random Rants....
So, I have never been a huge fan of following reality shows, (except Big Brother which is the best show in the world and one day I will be on this show!!!) especially those involving celebs, but recently I have found myself somewhat entertained by Paris Hilton's My New BFF. I have never watched it at the actual original air times, so I am not obsessed, but when it is on I would rather watch that than even Jon and Kate Plus 8, which is pushing it. So last night I discovered that I could watch episodes online and I went through and watched the episodes I hadn't seen. The final episode aired on the third of December and said it would be posted on line on the fifth of December. Well, it is midnight on the fifth of December and it is not up yet. Considering I found myself shocked and glad I was alone so no one could see me getting teary eyed at the episode prior to the last one, I think I deserve a timely appearance of the show.
I also watched Brittany: For the Record tonight which I thought was alright but could have been better...what am I doing to myself? Watching all these celeb shows....
Speaking of jumping on bandwagons, I recently read all the Twilight books and while I can see how thirteen year old girls would love them and think they provide the ideal lifestyle, I am perplexed by how older people get the same tingly feelings inside from the mediocre writing styles of Stephanie Meyer. Some props to her though because the books were still one hundred times better than the movie which was down right awful.
Why did my profs try to be nice by not assigning hell week assignments but instead assigning week before hell week assignments? All of them did it and now my hell week is just papers due up the butt week.
For my anthro paper I wanted to contrast Catholicism and Jehovah's Witnesses, unfortunately the people who want to "spread the good news" (aka the JW's) don't ever answer phones or return phone calls. I don't think they witnessed anything because they are no where to be found. Unless of course, this is witness protection... :-)
I found another religion we will see how that works out...1500 words due Monday and still waiting on an interview.
AND I went to make hot chocolate this morning before heading to work and my cat was across the room. I poured a glass of milk to heat in the microwave, turned to put the milk carton back in the fridge, turned back around, and my cat was drinking my milk out of my cup.
What a day...
Also, for those of you that were wondering SUPPOSABLY is NOT a WORB!
You didn't Seen it, you saw it
And At has nothing to do with where your purse or your coat is (aka Where's my [insert object] at?)
There is something wrong with my computer!!
Kitty, please stop chewing on my homework and textbooks! YOU HAVE YOUR OWN FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The end
PS I put food out for the squirrels last night and it was still there all day until I went to a mentor session and there were little squirrel footprints all over and the food was gone so I will put out more and see my fuzzy friends!!! YAY
I also watched Brittany: For the Record tonight which I thought was alright but could have been better...what am I doing to myself? Watching all these celeb shows....
Speaking of jumping on bandwagons, I recently read all the Twilight books and while I can see how thirteen year old girls would love them and think they provide the ideal lifestyle, I am perplexed by how older people get the same tingly feelings inside from the mediocre writing styles of Stephanie Meyer. Some props to her though because the books were still one hundred times better than the movie which was down right awful.
Why did my profs try to be nice by not assigning hell week assignments but instead assigning week before hell week assignments? All of them did it and now my hell week is just papers due up the butt week.
For my anthro paper I wanted to contrast Catholicism and Jehovah's Witnesses, unfortunately the people who want to "spread the good news" (aka the JW's) don't ever answer phones or return phone calls. I don't think they witnessed anything because they are no where to be found. Unless of course, this is witness protection... :-)
I found another religion we will see how that works out...1500 words due Monday and still waiting on an interview.
AND I went to make hot chocolate this morning before heading to work and my cat was across the room. I poured a glass of milk to heat in the microwave, turned to put the milk carton back in the fridge, turned back around, and my cat was drinking my milk out of my cup.
What a day...
Also, for those of you that were wondering SUPPOSABLY is NOT a WORB!
You didn't Seen it, you saw it
And At has nothing to do with where your purse or your coat is (aka Where's my [insert object] at?)
There is something wrong with my computer!!
Kitty, please stop chewing on my homework and textbooks! YOU HAVE YOUR OWN FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The end
PS I put food out for the squirrels last night and it was still there all day until I went to a mentor session and there were little squirrel footprints all over and the food was gone so I will put out more and see my fuzzy friends!!! YAY
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Overwhelmed
Today I am overwhelmed by need to do's:
Study for finals
Write a 1500 word essay and do the preparation for it
write a poem
organize supervisors meeting
remember to breathe
I have been having nightmares almost every night for the past month give or take a week. I can't sleep through the night and it is really cutting into my sanity, patience, and attention. I feel like everything I have to do is almost all consuming. I need to learn to prioritze and not procastinate. I need to get things in order and put off grief for just a couple more weeks...and these dreams need to go away period.
Study for finals
Write a 1500 word essay and do the preparation for it
write a poem
organize supervisors meeting
remember to breathe
I have been having nightmares almost every night for the past month give or take a week. I can't sleep through the night and it is really cutting into my sanity, patience, and attention. I feel like everything I have to do is almost all consuming. I need to learn to prioritze and not procastinate. I need to get things in order and put off grief for just a couple more weeks...and these dreams need to go away period.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Question...
If anyone knows or can think of a quote supposedly by Hemingway about the light in a room, could you post it in the comments or email it to me? It would mean a lot.
It might be a quote about the light in a room not by Hemingway as the person who told me it was by Hemingway has not always been a reliable source........
None the less, anything you can think of would be great!
Another Hemingway quote that I found in the search for the one about light:
Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words? He thinks I don't know the ten-dollar words. I know them all right. But there are older and simpler and better words, and those are the ones I use.
I happen to appreciate this quote...sorry to any painfully misled Faulkner fans out there...
It might be a quote about the light in a room not by Hemingway as the person who told me it was by Hemingway has not always been a reliable source........
None the less, anything you can think of would be great!
Another Hemingway quote that I found in the search for the one about light:
Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words? He thinks I don't know the ten-dollar words. I know them all right. But there are older and simpler and better words, and those are the ones I use.
I happen to appreciate this quote...sorry to any painfully misled Faulkner fans out there...
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
In an attempt to avoid my thoughts...
Surveys have it!
I have copied this from the blog I most frequently read and entered my own answers...duh....
1. Do you like blue cheese?
Love it with steaks and on salads with ranch dressing but I really don't like blue cheese dressing.
2. Have you been ever drunk?
This is a stupid question because whoever wrote this was obviously not sober.
3. Do you own a gun?
Umm, I inherited a few of them about three weeks ago...
4. What flavor Kool Aid was your favorite?
I was not allowed to drink Kool Aid
5. Do you get nervous before doctor's appointments?
Nope, not normal ones anyway
6. What do you think of hot dogs?
Absolutely repulsive....end of story
7. Favorite Christmas movie?
Rudolph...the animated one
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Coffee if I am at home, water if I am at school
9. Can you do push ups?
Yes. Can, of course, being the operative word here.
10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
The necklace my boyfriend got me for my birthday a couple years ago and/or the bracelet my mom has from the vietnam war for POWs/MIAs
11. Favorite hobby?
Reading/Writing/Photography
12. Do you have A.D.D.?
I was going to save the world but I got distracted by something shiny....
13. What's your weight?
Whereas I used to be the only person in America whose drivers license said more than my actual weight, I have now joined the rest of America in lying on a fedral document.
14. Middle name?
I like to think my middle initial (N) stands for No middle name.
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment??
I hate my middle name
If I didn't know better I would think my cat was on crack
I can't believe my heaters are still not installed!!!!!
16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
Water
Caramel Mocha Frapps
Flavored water
17. Current worry?
Surviving the semester
18. Current hate right now?
School
19. Favorite place to be?
THE BEACH
20. How did you bring in the New Year?
Played pool and worked
21. Where would you like to go?
Home to the Beach
22. Name three people who will complete this.
My Aunt, as she as already done it
My mom might post it into an email
And her best friend will probably respond and send it to me
23. Do you own slippers?
Yes :-)
24. Describe the shirt you are wearing.
It's sparkly black and silver, poofy, though I don't know why anyone would care
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
I have never slept on satin sheets before
26. Can you whistle?
Abso-frigin-tootly
27. Favorite color??
A tealish color
28. Would you be a pirate?
Probably not...
29. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Country songs or songs that I make up in the shower.
30. Favorite girl's name?
Braghitta
31. Favorite boy's name?
Brian
32. What's in your pocket?
Uh OH I don't have pockets...
33. Last thing that made you laugh?
The rediculousness of the book I just finished reading (the third in the Twilight series)
34. Worst injury you've ever had as a child?
Broke my nose about 12 times
Hyper-extended my knee two or three times though I can't remember because I have two braces but I can't remember if I used one twice or not...
35. Illness?
I had the flu for about two weeks once. It might not have been the flu it was so bad...but idk
36. Do you love where you live?
no, it't too stinking cold
37. How many TVs do you have in the house?
One in my apartment, four in my home home
38. Who is your loudest friend?
Amanda
39. How many dogs do you have?
one pup
40. Does someone have a crush on you?
I don't really know what classifies as a crush but we'll go with yes.
41. What is your favorite book?
The Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles
42. What is your favorite candy?
Dove Milk Chocolate
43. How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck would chuck wood?
A wood chuck would chuck as much wood as a wood chuck could chuck wood. If a wood chuck would chuck wood.
44. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Life ain't always beautiful.
So there's me in a nutshell....though I don't think these are very insightful questions....
I have copied this from the blog I most frequently read and entered my own answers...duh....
1. Do you like blue cheese?
Love it with steaks and on salads with ranch dressing but I really don't like blue cheese dressing.
2. Have you been ever drunk?
This is a stupid question because whoever wrote this was obviously not sober.
3. Do you own a gun?
Umm, I inherited a few of them about three weeks ago...
4. What flavor Kool Aid was your favorite?
I was not allowed to drink Kool Aid
5. Do you get nervous before doctor's appointments?
Nope, not normal ones anyway
6. What do you think of hot dogs?
Absolutely repulsive....end of story
7. Favorite Christmas movie?
Rudolph...the animated one
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Coffee if I am at home, water if I am at school
9. Can you do push ups?
Yes. Can, of course, being the operative word here.
10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
The necklace my boyfriend got me for my birthday a couple years ago and/or the bracelet my mom has from the vietnam war for POWs/MIAs
11. Favorite hobby?
Reading/Writing/Photography
12. Do you have A.D.D.?
I was going to save the world but I got distracted by something shiny....
13. What's your weight?
Whereas I used to be the only person in America whose drivers license said more than my actual weight, I have now joined the rest of America in lying on a fedral document.
14. Middle name?
I like to think my middle initial (N) stands for No middle name.
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment??
I hate my middle name
If I didn't know better I would think my cat was on crack
I can't believe my heaters are still not installed!!!!!
16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
Water
Caramel Mocha Frapps
Flavored water
17. Current worry?
Surviving the semester
18. Current hate right now?
School
19. Favorite place to be?
THE BEACH
20. How did you bring in the New Year?
Played pool and worked
21. Where would you like to go?
Home to the Beach
22. Name three people who will complete this.
My Aunt, as she as already done it
My mom might post it into an email
And her best friend will probably respond and send it to me
23. Do you own slippers?
Yes :-)
24. Describe the shirt you are wearing.
It's sparkly black and silver, poofy, though I don't know why anyone would care
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
I have never slept on satin sheets before
26. Can you whistle?
Abso-frigin-tootly
27. Favorite color??
A tealish color
28. Would you be a pirate?
Probably not...
29. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Country songs or songs that I make up in the shower.
30. Favorite girl's name?
Braghitta
31. Favorite boy's name?
Brian
32. What's in your pocket?
Uh OH I don't have pockets...
33. Last thing that made you laugh?
The rediculousness of the book I just finished reading (the third in the Twilight series)
34. Worst injury you've ever had as a child?
Broke my nose about 12 times
Hyper-extended my knee two or three times though I can't remember because I have two braces but I can't remember if I used one twice or not...
35. Illness?
I had the flu for about two weeks once. It might not have been the flu it was so bad...but idk
36. Do you love where you live?
no, it't too stinking cold
37. How many TVs do you have in the house?
One in my apartment, four in my home home
38. Who is your loudest friend?
Amanda
39. How many dogs do you have?
one pup
40. Does someone have a crush on you?
I don't really know what classifies as a crush but we'll go with yes.
41. What is your favorite book?
The Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles
42. What is your favorite candy?
Dove Milk Chocolate
43. How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck would chuck wood?
A wood chuck would chuck as much wood as a wood chuck could chuck wood. If a wood chuck would chuck wood.
44. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Life ain't always beautiful.
So there's me in a nutshell....though I don't think these are very insightful questions....
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
A Little Girl
I know nothing of my daddy’s mind
And now I never will
Though for so long our lives entwined
I searched for him with nothing to find
His chest now lies still
I know nothing of my daddy’s mind
I plead the bottle remain declined
Knowing it would kill
Though for so long our lives entwined
For years I looked to him and pined
For his heart to fill
I know nothing of my daddy’s mind
Now his life is left behind
We bury him on the hill
I know nothing of my daddy’s mind
Though for so long our lives entwined
And now I never will
Though for so long our lives entwined
I searched for him with nothing to find
His chest now lies still
I know nothing of my daddy’s mind
I plead the bottle remain declined
Knowing it would kill
Though for so long our lives entwined
For years I looked to him and pined
For his heart to fill
I know nothing of my daddy’s mind
Now his life is left behind
We bury him on the hill
I know nothing of my daddy’s mind
Though for so long our lives entwined
Monday, October 27, 2008
Dear God
Right now, I would like to talk about my daddy. I think you took him away too soon. He was a great daddy for many years of my life. I was so sad and so angry when he made choices that drew him away from me, but that doesn't make the years that were so special any less special.
God, I want my daddy back. He never got the chance to finish what he started and he taught me that it is always important to finish what you start. I am not ready to live my life without my daddy as I have always been daddy's little girl. I am not ready to give up hope of walking down the aisle or having my children know their grandpa, because I know he would be an amazing grandpa, like he was such a great daddy to me when I was little.
It is not fair that he was so afflicted, that his heart was so good but the temptations in this world were too much for him to overcome, that he became trapped inside a body that no longer could control itself and that he no longer had control over.
God please help me to forgive the people that helped the demons that haunted him and bless the people that tried to help him.
God please bless my mommy for all she did for the love of her life. I know that he did not turn out this way for lack of her trying. I know they love each other with all their hearts and that nothing, no amount of alcohol or evil world influence could ever change that. And thank you God for showing me what that love is.
But really God, I would do anything to have my daddy back. I want him to not be in pain. I want those years back that we drifted apart. If I pray a million times a day, and tell myself that this didn't happen, can you please make it true? I miss my daddy more than I ever thought I would. I forgive him for hurting me and my mommy and my brother. I just need my daddy, please. I know you are supposed to know what is best and that I am supposed to trust you and know that he is happier, but this pain hurts so much. My heart is more broken than I ever remember it being. I knew he would die, but I am not ready for this. I have been grieving for him for so long but it was a different kind of grief. I always hoped he would get better and be my real daddy again but you took that hope away from me this weekend, God. How am I supposed to get on without that hope when that is what I focused on for so long?
God, should I have answered more phone calls? Should I have supported him like he asked? Would it have made any difference? Would he at least still be alive? What if I could have done something and didn't? Does that make me one of those people that helped his demons? Dear God, I never meant to. I was trying to protect myself, but what if I was too selfish? What if I was wrong?
God I want my daddy back more than anything. He is my daddy and always will be. I want one more ride on his shoulders, one more piggy back, one more walk with the dogs, one more dance on his toes, one more Thanksgiving dinner, just one more hug. Please God, please let me be my daddy's little girl one more time.
If you can see him right now, please make sure he knows how much I love him. And that I know how much he loved me, even if we were both not always able to show it.
I want him to be happy. I want to make him proud. I am not ready to let go of my hope. Please don't make me. Please fix this God. It is not right right now. He is too young, it is not okay.
Please let me know what you can do about this, God. I really need an answer soon.
I love you too, God, but I am sad you took him away from me before I was ready. I am not mad at you, but I can't say I am not questioning you because, right or wrong, I am. I am still a little girl, God. I am not ready to live without my daddy.
Sincerely
My Daddy's Little Girl
God, I want my daddy back. He never got the chance to finish what he started and he taught me that it is always important to finish what you start. I am not ready to live my life without my daddy as I have always been daddy's little girl. I am not ready to give up hope of walking down the aisle or having my children know their grandpa, because I know he would be an amazing grandpa, like he was such a great daddy to me when I was little.
It is not fair that he was so afflicted, that his heart was so good but the temptations in this world were too much for him to overcome, that he became trapped inside a body that no longer could control itself and that he no longer had control over.
God please help me to forgive the people that helped the demons that haunted him and bless the people that tried to help him.
God please bless my mommy for all she did for the love of her life. I know that he did not turn out this way for lack of her trying. I know they love each other with all their hearts and that nothing, no amount of alcohol or evil world influence could ever change that. And thank you God for showing me what that love is.
But really God, I would do anything to have my daddy back. I want him to not be in pain. I want those years back that we drifted apart. If I pray a million times a day, and tell myself that this didn't happen, can you please make it true? I miss my daddy more than I ever thought I would. I forgive him for hurting me and my mommy and my brother. I just need my daddy, please. I know you are supposed to know what is best and that I am supposed to trust you and know that he is happier, but this pain hurts so much. My heart is more broken than I ever remember it being. I knew he would die, but I am not ready for this. I have been grieving for him for so long but it was a different kind of grief. I always hoped he would get better and be my real daddy again but you took that hope away from me this weekend, God. How am I supposed to get on without that hope when that is what I focused on for so long?
God, should I have answered more phone calls? Should I have supported him like he asked? Would it have made any difference? Would he at least still be alive? What if I could have done something and didn't? Does that make me one of those people that helped his demons? Dear God, I never meant to. I was trying to protect myself, but what if I was too selfish? What if I was wrong?
God I want my daddy back more than anything. He is my daddy and always will be. I want one more ride on his shoulders, one more piggy back, one more walk with the dogs, one more dance on his toes, one more Thanksgiving dinner, just one more hug. Please God, please let me be my daddy's little girl one more time.
If you can see him right now, please make sure he knows how much I love him. And that I know how much he loved me, even if we were both not always able to show it.
I want him to be happy. I want to make him proud. I am not ready to let go of my hope. Please don't make me. Please fix this God. It is not right right now. He is too young, it is not okay.
Please let me know what you can do about this, God. I really need an answer soon.
I love you too, God, but I am sad you took him away from me before I was ready. I am not mad at you, but I can't say I am not questioning you because, right or wrong, I am. I am still a little girl, God. I am not ready to live without my daddy.
Sincerely
My Daddy's Little Girl
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Its changed
I had to write a sonnet about love for my Craft of Poetry class (I know, terrible, ironic, torture is pretty much what it boils down to) and had no intention of wanting to think about love at all. So here is what I came up with instead:
And so I am left alone deciding
What I am going to say
To those four boys that keep on fighting
My love they are trying to sway
“I have a choice,” but I really don’t
“I like you all,” I could explain
“I will decide” but I really won’t
This is such a pain
Chocolates, jewelry, candy, and flowers
For me his “little daisy”
Love letters portraying my seductive powers
And how the others are crazy
I could just tell them all to quit
But what fun would that be
Its better just to watch them hit
And kick and scream for me
So while their friendship fills with rifts
I will do what I do and collect the gifts.
It will do.......I suppose
And so I am left alone deciding
What I am going to say
To those four boys that keep on fighting
My love they are trying to sway
“I have a choice,” but I really don’t
“I like you all,” I could explain
“I will decide” but I really won’t
This is such a pain
Chocolates, jewelry, candy, and flowers
For me his “little daisy”
Love letters portraying my seductive powers
And how the others are crazy
I could just tell them all to quit
But what fun would that be
Its better just to watch them hit
And kick and scream for me
So while their friendship fills with rifts
I will do what I do and collect the gifts.
It will do.......I suppose
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Top Ten Things to Change in My Home
In response to my aunt's blog about top ten things to Prest-O Change about her home which mostly included getting new things and upgrading to practical conveniences, I would like to post my impractical conveniences which I have probably because I am still at an age where I can pretend that anything is possible and have not quite hit reality.
1. A self cleaning Home--this includes dusting itself, doing any dirty laundry, folding it, putting it away, vacuuming, refinishing the wood floors, scrubbing the walls and floors. Some people call this a maid but personnally I don't want an actual person seeing how messy things can get.
2. A Monet for my dining room.
3. An electric fire place on the wall that separates the kitchen and living room.
4. I would like to turn our carriage shed into a guest house.
5. I would like to impose a house law that the only video games allowed are those provided on Wii sports and Wii fit.
6. I would also like to impose a house law that the only music allowed would be country and classical music. Classic rock allowed before 8:00 p.m. and of course holiday music allowed when appropriate.
7. The kitchen, guest bedroom, dining room, and living room all need painted tranquil, relaxing hues.
8. A complete renovation of the upstairs bathroom including new flooring, a new claw-footed tub, and a new sink
9. Seal the basement to have it refinished and undestroyed by flooding.
10. Get an energy efficient furnace and perhaps install some skylights.
P.S. Presidential debates were completely won (once again) by Team Obama.
Quick Funny Story
We had early voting on my college campus. I did not participate because I have already requested an absentee ballot from my own county, but the Campus Democrats did not think that was a good enough reason to hold off on casting my ballot on that day. I believe it was Campus Democrat approach number 853 that sent me over the edge and I threatened "if one more of you tries to get me hug the guy in the donkey suit or tries to persuade me to vote early I am going to march in there and vote a straight Republican ticket." Apparently word got around because that was the last time I was approached all day. Of course, I could never vote democrat for the a certain representative anyway because the guy looks exactly like a child molester from the '70's and he happens to be one of many idiots.
1. A self cleaning Home--this includes dusting itself, doing any dirty laundry, folding it, putting it away, vacuuming, refinishing the wood floors, scrubbing the walls and floors. Some people call this a maid but personnally I don't want an actual person seeing how messy things can get.
2. A Monet for my dining room.
3. An electric fire place on the wall that separates the kitchen and living room.
4. I would like to turn our carriage shed into a guest house.
5. I would like to impose a house law that the only video games allowed are those provided on Wii sports and Wii fit.
6. I would also like to impose a house law that the only music allowed would be country and classical music. Classic rock allowed before 8:00 p.m. and of course holiday music allowed when appropriate.
7. The kitchen, guest bedroom, dining room, and living room all need painted tranquil, relaxing hues.
8. A complete renovation of the upstairs bathroom including new flooring, a new claw-footed tub, and a new sink
9. Seal the basement to have it refinished and undestroyed by flooding.
10. Get an energy efficient furnace and perhaps install some skylights.
P.S. Presidential debates were completely won (once again) by Team Obama.
Quick Funny Story
We had early voting on my college campus. I did not participate because I have already requested an absentee ballot from my own county, but the Campus Democrats did not think that was a good enough reason to hold off on casting my ballot on that day. I believe it was Campus Democrat approach number 853 that sent me over the edge and I threatened "if one more of you tries to get me hug the guy in the donkey suit or tries to persuade me to vote early I am going to march in there and vote a straight Republican ticket." Apparently word got around because that was the last time I was approached all day. Of course, I could never vote democrat for the a certain representative anyway because the guy looks exactly like a child molester from the '70's and he happens to be one of many idiots.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Mental Issues
So, I was talking to one of my friends tonight about what mental problems we probably have. Here are mine:
OCD about office issues: It REALLY pisses me off when people staple things crookedly, put things in the wrong files, or generally don't do exactly what I ask them to do, how I ask them to do it.
Superficial: I don't like talking to anyone that I would consider ugly simply because I don't want to be affiliated with them. Internal beauty comes later. I realized that my superficiality is the reason I don't stay friends with people very long.
Anger: I don't ever really talk about my anger, I just redirect it into my OCD, Power issues, and superficiality.
Power: I like to be in charge of everyone and everything.
Materialism: I love having money and stuff. Love it. And work a bajillion hours to get it.
I like to find flaws in people just so I can try to fix them. Maybe this is the power thing. I just have an inner desire for everyone to be perfect!
Haha...well I seem to get along alright anyway.
P.S. This was just for fun.
OCD about office issues: It REALLY pisses me off when people staple things crookedly, put things in the wrong files, or generally don't do exactly what I ask them to do, how I ask them to do it.
Superficial: I don't like talking to anyone that I would consider ugly simply because I don't want to be affiliated with them. Internal beauty comes later. I realized that my superficiality is the reason I don't stay friends with people very long.
Anger: I don't ever really talk about my anger, I just redirect it into my OCD, Power issues, and superficiality.
Power: I like to be in charge of everyone and everything.
Materialism: I love having money and stuff. Love it. And work a bajillion hours to get it.
I like to find flaws in people just so I can try to fix them. Maybe this is the power thing. I just have an inner desire for everyone to be perfect!
Haha...well I seem to get along alright anyway.
P.S. This was just for fun.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Two Poems...Syllabic Verse...Same topic
Wasted
You died alone by the bar
Jobless, homeless, lifeless you lay
Only the cracking red brick supports you
It is the only thing you have not abandoned
Breathless, and eyes wide open,
Your glazed look in death unchanged
From your glazed look in the life you forgot
To live. You knew you would leave, you knew you would die
That golden liquid you hid
No longer inside, drowning you,
Killing you. Instead it seeps from your pores
The stench distracting middle class men passing by.
You used to be like these men.
Heavy briefcase, red tie, shiny shoes.
But you traded it all in for the booze;
It must have been worth it, to die for addiction
Somewhere you had family,
If only you had remembered
To come home without square pockets one night.
The bottles obvious, despite attempts to lie.
Garbage bags full of these square
Golden bottles fill the closet,
Revealing every cruel word you mumbled
Shattering hope of returning sobriety
Dead, still in front of that bar
Unmissed but still unforgotten
You lie. Begging for undeserved pity
Another beaten dead dad drinks alone.
Maybe someday I’ll miss you
When I am playing with my kids
Wishing they had a grandfather like you
When I was young. But then I’ll remember the truth
And be glad you are still dead.
_________________________________
Loss of the Child
You have killed me
I look you in the eyes
And have no idea what I see
It’s a horrible disguise
But you have nowhere else to flee
I am dead now
Because you left me here
Son of a bitch chose it over me
I have hatred now, not fear
From your golden bottle I’m free
It has killed you
You can’t live on your own
The toxic syrup seeps from your pores
You can’t eat, you are just bones
Your life consists of liquor stores
You are dead now
Lost all your family
Choosing between detox or your car
Your home is now on the streets
A once happy man dies by the bar
Minutes tick by
You are fading too fast
I hate you, your life, your addiction
All I remember is past
Before this, your chosen infliction
Alone we die
You chose your death alone
To escape from the world
Your failures etched now, in stone
Life is gone as daddy’s little girl
You died alone by the bar
Jobless, homeless, lifeless you lay
Only the cracking red brick supports you
It is the only thing you have not abandoned
Breathless, and eyes wide open,
Your glazed look in death unchanged
From your glazed look in the life you forgot
To live. You knew you would leave, you knew you would die
That golden liquid you hid
No longer inside, drowning you,
Killing you. Instead it seeps from your pores
The stench distracting middle class men passing by.
You used to be like these men.
Heavy briefcase, red tie, shiny shoes.
But you traded it all in for the booze;
It must have been worth it, to die for addiction
Somewhere you had family,
If only you had remembered
To come home without square pockets one night.
The bottles obvious, despite attempts to lie.
Garbage bags full of these square
Golden bottles fill the closet,
Revealing every cruel word you mumbled
Shattering hope of returning sobriety
Dead, still in front of that bar
Unmissed but still unforgotten
You lie. Begging for undeserved pity
Another beaten dead dad drinks alone.
Maybe someday I’ll miss you
When I am playing with my kids
Wishing they had a grandfather like you
When I was young. But then I’ll remember the truth
And be glad you are still dead.
_________________________________
Loss of the Child
You have killed me
I look you in the eyes
And have no idea what I see
It’s a horrible disguise
But you have nowhere else to flee
I am dead now
Because you left me here
Son of a bitch chose it over me
I have hatred now, not fear
From your golden bottle I’m free
It has killed you
You can’t live on your own
The toxic syrup seeps from your pores
You can’t eat, you are just bones
Your life consists of liquor stores
You are dead now
Lost all your family
Choosing between detox or your car
Your home is now on the streets
A once happy man dies by the bar
Minutes tick by
You are fading too fast
I hate you, your life, your addiction
All I remember is past
Before this, your chosen infliction
Alone we die
You chose your death alone
To escape from the world
Your failures etched now, in stone
Life is gone as daddy’s little girl
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Lacking in BLogness
I have to apologize to my one or two readers that I have not been keeping up to date. I am high in tiredness and homework but low in desire to write. I am also lacking ammo....I think my entries need to be upbeat at least a little and right now stress does not seem so upbeat.
One funny story though...I was asking my mom last night about recycling my old ink cartridge and she was saying that if we had a place I could recycle it but sometimes it is more of a pain than its worth. I said well, it might be a pain to find it, but I know we have a place to recycle them, I mean this is [Enter College Name]...I wouldn't be surprised to find a place to recycle butt hair.
I was trying to think of something obscure and that was what came out....whatever :-P
One funny story though...I was asking my mom last night about recycling my old ink cartridge and she was saying that if we had a place I could recycle it but sometimes it is more of a pain than its worth. I said well, it might be a pain to find it, but I know we have a place to recycle them, I mean this is [Enter College Name]...I wouldn't be surprised to find a place to recycle butt hair.
I was trying to think of something obscure and that was what came out....whatever :-P
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
A few things for the day...
First, I have to study for German because no matter how hard I try, I can only understand it if I look at the written word, which is not so promising for my next fall semester.
Second the Big Brother 10 Season Finale is tonight and is probably going to be the highlight of my fall...It really can't get any better than nights watching Big Brother.
Third, I am very thankful to my aunt who was an English teacher, for getting me through my Sestina writing experience alive. And a thanks to my uncle for marrying her.
Forth...I really should write my lab reports tonight, but they aren't due until Friday. It might be breaking tradition to do them before Thursday.
Second the Big Brother 10 Season Finale is tonight and is probably going to be the highlight of my fall...It really can't get any better than nights watching Big Brother.
Third, I am very thankful to my aunt who was an English teacher, for getting me through my Sestina writing experience alive. And a thanks to my uncle for marrying her.
Forth...I really should write my lab reports tonight, but they aren't due until Friday. It might be breaking tradition to do them before Thursday.
Monday, September 15, 2008
A small rant...or two...or five
This weekend I tried to sign up for a smartypig.com account to save money for a memory foam mattress. I wanted to save $100 by January. Unfortunately, Smartypig doesn't think this is good enough. First of all the minimum saving amount is $250 and the minimum monthly deposit is $25. I really don't think it is fair that my goal was not worthy of smartypig's ideal deposits. Sorry my goals aren't lofty enough.
Also, when did Campbell's soup stop making lentel soup?
And, why do my professors all give me homeowork at once?
AND who invented the sestina, because it sucks to write?
AND I am pretty sure my bonsai is dead and gone :-(
Also, when did Campbell's soup stop making lentel soup?
And, why do my professors all give me homeowork at once?
AND who invented the sestina, because it sucks to write?
AND I am pretty sure my bonsai is dead and gone :-(
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Oh the places to go?
I am having a hard time deciding what do to next year. I have plenty of options, just no idea what would be best...
Going Abroad
Vienna--I am taking a year of German to prepare for this, just in case. I have always been interested in Austrian history, the German impact on Austria, and they have some great literature programs. The Mountains, the fact that it is so close to the Swiss boarder, Germany, involves lots of field trips, and is where the VonTrap family came from are all great positives. On the down side, I would have to know German really well to be able to do a home stay, which is my intention. Also, they eat a lot of pork and fermented veggies which aren't really my thing.
Somewhere in Italy (Florance, Milan, Rome)--I have wanted to go to Italy pretty much since I was born. Specifically, I am interested in Venice, but all the programs allow for a week in Venice so that could be cool. I would not have to know the language to study here. I could do a home-stay with no worries. I love pasta, red meats, and red wines, which pretty much define Italy. I also think on of my high school friends will be in Milan, so that may make things a bit more interesting and exciting, not to mention an easier transition. Italian would be taught while I was over there, so I would still get to know the language.
London--This program is run by my school and would be the least expensive. My advisor is teaching in London the same semester I would be over there, thus I would be taking his classes. I would not have to worry about language at all, food would be pretty similar, and getting around would be easy as well. Also, my advisor promised me we could go to Venice and Vienna for a week or two. On the downside, I don't feel like I would be getting much culture if I went to London. In my mind, a place where everyone speaks the same language as me would be too easy. I want a challenge.
Transferring
Stanford--I want to go to their law school and they have an amazing campus, amazing dorms, and tuition would be practically free. Also, I would have an aunt and uncle close. Plus great weather.
Harvard--Great school, a cousin lives close and is totally willing to go in halvsies on an apartment. Bad weather.
Drake--Close to friends, still an alright school, but I am thinking no on this one, even though friends are begging me to go here....
Downside to transferring--I don't get to go abroad.
Dropping out of School
Sounds like a bad idea but really, it would be so much easier. Down side? No money for ever and ever and ever. Yeah, not gonna do this....
Going Abroad
Vienna--I am taking a year of German to prepare for this, just in case. I have always been interested in Austrian history, the German impact on Austria, and they have some great literature programs. The Mountains, the fact that it is so close to the Swiss boarder, Germany, involves lots of field trips, and is where the VonTrap family came from are all great positives. On the down side, I would have to know German really well to be able to do a home stay, which is my intention. Also, they eat a lot of pork and fermented veggies which aren't really my thing.
Somewhere in Italy (Florance, Milan, Rome)--I have wanted to go to Italy pretty much since I was born. Specifically, I am interested in Venice, but all the programs allow for a week in Venice so that could be cool. I would not have to know the language to study here. I could do a home-stay with no worries. I love pasta, red meats, and red wines, which pretty much define Italy. I also think on of my high school friends will be in Milan, so that may make things a bit more interesting and exciting, not to mention an easier transition. Italian would be taught while I was over there, so I would still get to know the language.
London--This program is run by my school and would be the least expensive. My advisor is teaching in London the same semester I would be over there, thus I would be taking his classes. I would not have to worry about language at all, food would be pretty similar, and getting around would be easy as well. Also, my advisor promised me we could go to Venice and Vienna for a week or two. On the downside, I don't feel like I would be getting much culture if I went to London. In my mind, a place where everyone speaks the same language as me would be too easy. I want a challenge.
Transferring
Stanford--I want to go to their law school and they have an amazing campus, amazing dorms, and tuition would be practically free. Also, I would have an aunt and uncle close. Plus great weather.
Harvard--Great school, a cousin lives close and is totally willing to go in halvsies on an apartment. Bad weather.
Drake--Close to friends, still an alright school, but I am thinking no on this one, even though friends are begging me to go here....
Downside to transferring--I don't get to go abroad.
Dropping out of School
Sounds like a bad idea but really, it would be so much easier. Down side? No money for ever and ever and ever. Yeah, not gonna do this....
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Top Ten Reasons I am a Republican Voting for Barack
1. Honesty no longer helps pay the bills in America
2. It is too expensive to have a moral code
3. Clinton didn't inhale, but Barack openly expirimented with drugs (the democrat's approach has changed dramatically)
4. McCain walked uphill to school-both ways
5. A woman president is one thing. The possibility of a PTA mom is another.
6. Republicans have f'ed up our economy, there's no harm left in letting the democrats give it shot
7. I am a poor college student, looking for change (silver preferably)
8. US foriegn policy might improve with someone who has actually lived on the other side of the world
9. Experience has gotten this country no where. The president with the least experience made this country, lets get back to square one.
10. I want a president who is a little more like me. Wanting a change for the good of America, not just the good of my good ol' boys.
2. It is too expensive to have a moral code
3. Clinton didn't inhale, but Barack openly expirimented with drugs (the democrat's approach has changed dramatically)
4. McCain walked uphill to school-both ways
5. A woman president is one thing. The possibility of a PTA mom is another.
6. Republicans have f'ed up our economy, there's no harm left in letting the democrats give it shot
7. I am a poor college student, looking for change (silver preferably)
8. US foriegn policy might improve with someone who has actually lived on the other side of the world
9. Experience has gotten this country no where. The president with the least experience made this country, lets get back to square one.
10. I want a president who is a little more like me. Wanting a change for the good of America, not just the good of my good ol' boys.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
A couple more poems
This first poem was written in my Creative Writing class right after one of my teammates was killed by a drunk driver and is about her. She was fifteen years old at the time. In order for this to make sense you should probably know that her favorite color was purple and she absolutely loved yellow ducks.
African Violets
A small garden of purple
A small tree with a bird
A small flower stands tall
Unlike any other
Jumps out of the crowd
Of the garden of purple
The lines etching the veins
The droplets trickle from the eye
The yellow bird
Bright, startling, joyful
Stands out to the crowd
In this garden of purple
The garden is frosted
The purple fades
Seems only a memory remains
Of the garden of purple
But the bird lives on
The yellow was a blur
The life continues
Somewhere
In another garden of purple
The following poem was written in the same Creative Writing class. It is just a random poem that I wrote mostly to fill up space. Nonetheless, it seems to get a chuckle out of most people who read it.
Life of a Styrofoam cup
Woken up in the morning by suffocating plastic
It’s a great thing to have no lungs
A great life to have a small purpose
My friend went to a party
I bet that was a blast
I didn’t hear from her again
But particles of her will forever live on
Another went to a funeral
I bet he was filled with Sunny D.
Someone died and they still fill him with
Cheap orange juice
My bag has just been bought
On no! there’s a little kid
They gave up on the sippy cups
My last moments being digested
By a two year old future eating contest winner
And he’s starting with the Styrofoam cup
African Violets
A small garden of purple
A small tree with a bird
A small flower stands tall
Unlike any other
Jumps out of the crowd
Of the garden of purple
The lines etching the veins
The droplets trickle from the eye
The yellow bird
Bright, startling, joyful
Stands out to the crowd
In this garden of purple
The garden is frosted
The purple fades
Seems only a memory remains
Of the garden of purple
But the bird lives on
The yellow was a blur
The life continues
Somewhere
In another garden of purple
The following poem was written in the same Creative Writing class. It is just a random poem that I wrote mostly to fill up space. Nonetheless, it seems to get a chuckle out of most people who read it.
Life of a Styrofoam cup
Woken up in the morning by suffocating plastic
It’s a great thing to have no lungs
A great life to have a small purpose
My friend went to a party
I bet that was a blast
I didn’t hear from her again
But particles of her will forever live on
Another went to a funeral
I bet he was filled with Sunny D.
Someone died and they still fill him with
Cheap orange juice
My bag has just been bought
On no! there’s a little kid
They gave up on the sippy cups
My last moments being digested
By a two year old future eating contest winner
And he’s starting with the Styrofoam cup
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Partners in Crime
As school is sneaking up on me, I am finding little humor in life these days; however, today there was a small instance that was very humorous to me. And hopefully to you too.
My kitten, although cute, adorable, lovable, and playful, has a certain quality about him that causes him to freak out, run around wildly, attack anything that comes anywhere near him, and chew on my plants. (I think this is called being a kitten, but whatever) When he goes into this mode, I have a squirt bottle that is pointed and shot at him when he is biting my hair, my plants, my books, whatever his current victim is, to distract him and get him to stop whatever he is doing.
I recently received a bonsai tree for my birthday and the baby kitten loves to chew on this so he has gotten squirted plenty of times for his strange pallet and now has stopped eating the leaves.
I was worried today, though, when he came up on the table as I was using the squirt bottle to mist the leaves of my bonsai, and headed straight for it. It occurred to me, as he rubbed up against the bottom of the pot the bonsai sits in, then looked at me with wide eyes, he looked like he was consoling the tree and wondering what it had done to deserve the squirt bottle.
My kitten, although cute, adorable, lovable, and playful, has a certain quality about him that causes him to freak out, run around wildly, attack anything that comes anywhere near him, and chew on my plants. (I think this is called being a kitten, but whatever) When he goes into this mode, I have a squirt bottle that is pointed and shot at him when he is biting my hair, my plants, my books, whatever his current victim is, to distract him and get him to stop whatever he is doing.
I recently received a bonsai tree for my birthday and the baby kitten loves to chew on this so he has gotten squirted plenty of times for his strange pallet and now has stopped eating the leaves.
I was worried today, though, when he came up on the table as I was using the squirt bottle to mist the leaves of my bonsai, and headed straight for it. It occurred to me, as he rubbed up against the bottom of the pot the bonsai sits in, then looked at me with wide eyes, he looked like he was consoling the tree and wondering what it had done to deserve the squirt bottle.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Bright eyed and bushy tailed or Red Eyed and Tail Dragging?
I have been working on my schedule day by day for the last two weeks and finally have the work schedules, my work schedule, and my class schedule all straightened out. Sounds good right? Not so much. It appears that to get in the number of hours I need, I am going to have to get up at seven thirty two days a week and Monday and Wednesday I have class until four. It sounded like a good idea when I signed up for classes that didn't start until nine but it really screwed up my work schedule. After a summer of staying up late and sleeping in late.......we will see how this all goes....
Words of encouragement please?
Words of encouragement please?
Monday, August 18, 2008
It's a great state fair?
I have been wanting to go to the State Fair since it started a couple weeks ago. I have been seeing news casts of the sweet things at the fair. I could cast my kernel for president (two tubs full of corn for either McCain or Obama), watch stupid human tricks, see well trained dogs, watch the Olympics on a big screen, eat fattening fair food, see the biggest hog (over 1200 pounds) and the biggest bull (over 1500 pounds), in addition to lots of horses, an elk, a cow made of butter, and all kinds of random things you can only see at the fair.
After pumping myself up for the fair, I got there, spent money on parking and entrance fees, bought outrageously priced food and drink, could not find the place to cast my kernel, only got a picture of the biggest bull and elk, not of the biggest hog because some little brat would not move, did not find the Olympic Pavilion, the trained dogs were not on until the time I had to leave to be back in time for work, and stupid human tricks was way too late to stay.
I determined that I paid money to enter the fair to spend more money. Truly ridiculous and disappointingly.
I was, however, very grateful for the day in general. My long-time boyfriend and I both went to the fair together and got to spend all the time together mostly making fun of the scary way people dressed, (What Not to Wear, the TLC show, should just set up shop at this fair, they would find material for at least 50,000 shows. I am not exaggerating) , but also looking at the fantastic hot tubs, bikes, home improvement items, petting the goats, sheep, and a baby miniature donkey that was about the cutest thing that exists, and just generally enjoying each other's company.
That night we spent time with some old friends and had a much better time than our usual Saturday nights.
In Other News: I changed vets for my baby kitty, Theodore. I was going to a vet where I live most of the time but did not really like him from the first time I brought my kitten there. He grabbed his scruff and did not really pay attention to the cat, more so to me. I bring my animals to the vet to have them taken care of, not me. So, last week, I took Theodore in for a couple of shots. I asked the vet about how long until I should have him fixed. The vet started feeling around and, obviously, Theodore was not enjoying it, so instead of pulling Theodore back toward him humanely, the vet grabbed his back legs and hung him upside-down. I immediately was appalled at how he was handling my baby. (I also thought of when I was a kid and was dangled over a swimming pool by my back legs by a swimming instructor...quite scary for me and I did not want kitten to be scarred as well!) You do NOT dangle my cat. That is NOT okay. He also did not tell me any of the possible side-effects of the shots or to worry about anything. Needless to say I switched vets. This one is a lot more expensive, but actually cares about the well-being of the patient, more-so than appeasing the owner.
After pumping myself up for the fair, I got there, spent money on parking and entrance fees, bought outrageously priced food and drink, could not find the place to cast my kernel, only got a picture of the biggest bull and elk, not of the biggest hog because some little brat would not move, did not find the Olympic Pavilion, the trained dogs were not on until the time I had to leave to be back in time for work, and stupid human tricks was way too late to stay.
I determined that I paid money to enter the fair to spend more money. Truly ridiculous and disappointingly.
I was, however, very grateful for the day in general. My long-time boyfriend and I both went to the fair together and got to spend all the time together mostly making fun of the scary way people dressed, (What Not to Wear, the TLC show, should just set up shop at this fair, they would find material for at least 50,000 shows. I am not exaggerating) , but also looking at the fantastic hot tubs, bikes, home improvement items, petting the goats, sheep, and a baby miniature donkey that was about the cutest thing that exists, and just generally enjoying each other's company.
That night we spent time with some old friends and had a much better time than our usual Saturday nights.
In Other News: I changed vets for my baby kitty, Theodore. I was going to a vet where I live most of the time but did not really like him from the first time I brought my kitten there. He grabbed his scruff and did not really pay attention to the cat, more so to me. I bring my animals to the vet to have them taken care of, not me. So, last week, I took Theodore in for a couple of shots. I asked the vet about how long until I should have him fixed. The vet started feeling around and, obviously, Theodore was not enjoying it, so instead of pulling Theodore back toward him humanely, the vet grabbed his back legs and hung him upside-down. I immediately was appalled at how he was handling my baby. (I also thought of when I was a kid and was dangled over a swimming pool by my back legs by a swimming instructor...quite scary for me and I did not want kitten to be scarred as well!) You do NOT dangle my cat. That is NOT okay. He also did not tell me any of the possible side-effects of the shots or to worry about anything. Needless to say I switched vets. This one is a lot more expensive, but actually cares about the well-being of the patient, more-so than appeasing the owner.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Poodle Conditioner
A couple of weeks ago, I decided to dye my hair to its natural, un-sun-bleached color; a lovely dark brown that I wish my hair would stay throughout the year instead of just in the dead of winter. Anyway, as anyone who dyes their hair would know, it tends to dry out the strands a smidge. With my hair, it makes it impossible to comb without mass quantities of conditioner. (Also, I recently changed conditioners to one that I shouldn't have switched to because it does a VERY poor job of making my hair silky smooth so it really does not help much.) At home, I can get a wonderful VO5 hot oil treatment for about two dollars. Here in the campus town they apparently do not carry VO5 products and I was stuck with knotty hair. The other day at Walmart, I decided I HAD to find SOMETHING to make my hair stop snarling so horribly. So as I was looking, I found a section full of deep conditioners and hair strengthening what-nots. I also noticed that all the advertising pictures were of African Americans/Blacks/Politically Correct term for dark skinned people. I reasoned that if it works for them, it will surely work for me. So I selected a one time, deep conditioner with olive oil to be applied with heat and a cap. Only $1.79.
Last night I performed all the instructions step by step to make my hair the silky, smooth , fantabulous mane it once was, ending with the rinse. I went to bed with my hair still wet, natural curl bouncing.
This morning when I woke up, hair dry, and I could tell something was different. "Is it healthy, happy, hair?" I thought as wabbled to the bathroom at 6:30 this morning. Well, when I got in front of the mirror, I realized that the natural bouncing curl I saw last night had multiplied by, oh, about a hundred. My hair had VOLUME! Thank goodness for hair straighteners. My hair is now healthy, happy, and volume is No Longer an Issue.
I recommend this conditioner to anyone who doesn't have to get up early in the morning so that you are not unnaturally scared of looking at the mirror. I also recommend it for anyone with a poodle that needs a little lift.
Last night I performed all the instructions step by step to make my hair the silky, smooth , fantabulous mane it once was, ending with the rinse. I went to bed with my hair still wet, natural curl bouncing.
This morning when I woke up, hair dry, and I could tell something was different. "Is it healthy, happy, hair?" I thought as wabbled to the bathroom at 6:30 this morning. Well, when I got in front of the mirror, I realized that the natural bouncing curl I saw last night had multiplied by, oh, about a hundred. My hair had VOLUME! Thank goodness for hair straighteners. My hair is now healthy, happy, and volume is No Longer an Issue.
I recommend this conditioner to anyone who doesn't have to get up early in the morning so that you are not unnaturally scared of looking at the mirror. I also recommend it for anyone with a poodle that needs a little lift.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Monotony
As students are coming back onto campus, I have to change all the access cards individually. In doing this I have to change each students' access to each individual building. This means each student access card change takes about two minutes. I have about 400 of these things to do.
Today, I expressed my desire for a single button that would change a student's access with one click rather than about forty, to the security officer. Other security officers have expressed my same general feeling about our stupid, time consuming, system. This officer, however, looked at me like I was crazy for wanting to make this process faster and simpler.
My thoughts?
It's idiots like you who design piece of crap systems like this.
Today, I expressed my desire for a single button that would change a student's access with one click rather than about forty, to the security officer. Other security officers have expressed my same general feeling about our stupid, time consuming, system. This officer, however, looked at me like I was crazy for wanting to make this process faster and simpler.
My thoughts?
It's idiots like you who design piece of crap systems like this.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Olympic Pride
I have grown up watching the Olympics. I would get to stay up past my bedtime when I was little to watch women's gymnastics. I dreamed that one day I would be there, at the Olympics, right next to the amazing people I saw on TV. Unfortunately a series of strange events, beginning with my only very good gymnastics teachers being arrested for having a meth lab in her house, and ending with multiple hyper extensions of my knees, prevented me from fulfilling this "young girl's" dream.
Now that I am older and have accepted my fate not to become an Olympic gymnast (though I always still watch women's & men's gymnastics) I have changed my sights from the actual sport to what makes the sport important enough to these Olympians to want to pursue it as badly as they do. Mostly, this points me in the direction of family. This year in particular, I have noticed how much the media is covering the Olympic Athletes' background and family. Perhaps it is my change of focus that has made me realize this or maybe the media really is focusing on it more. Either way it amazes me the love and pride that emanates from these families. Michael Phelps' mom just about brought tears to my eyes when she was cheering for her son as he broke the world record. From the look in her eyes, it was obvious she did not care about the medal or whether or not the USA flag would be at the top. She was thinking purely about how important her son and his happiness was to her.
Of course this is just one example of the hundreds of athletes competing. It is absolutely amazing to me the faith these families have in each other. The pride for their sons/daughters/brothers/sisters/aunts/uncles/parents is overwhelming. I realize that I am babbling at this point about the same thing I started with but I can't help it.
It is the background, the upbringing, the family support of each and every one of these athletes that has brought them where they are today. I commend the athletes and I honor their families for sacrificing time, money, and uncountable moments with their family athletes to allow them to be where they are today.
Now that I am older and have accepted my fate not to become an Olympic gymnast (though I always still watch women's & men's gymnastics) I have changed my sights from the actual sport to what makes the sport important enough to these Olympians to want to pursue it as badly as they do. Mostly, this points me in the direction of family. This year in particular, I have noticed how much the media is covering the Olympic Athletes' background and family. Perhaps it is my change of focus that has made me realize this or maybe the media really is focusing on it more. Either way it amazes me the love and pride that emanates from these families. Michael Phelps' mom just about brought tears to my eyes when she was cheering for her son as he broke the world record. From the look in her eyes, it was obvious she did not care about the medal or whether or not the USA flag would be at the top. She was thinking purely about how important her son and his happiness was to her.
Of course this is just one example of the hundreds of athletes competing. It is absolutely amazing to me the faith these families have in each other. The pride for their sons/daughters/brothers/sisters/aunts/uncles/parents is overwhelming. I realize that I am babbling at this point about the same thing I started with but I can't help it.
It is the background, the upbringing, the family support of each and every one of these athletes that has brought them where they are today. I commend the athletes and I honor their families for sacrificing time, money, and uncountable moments with their family athletes to allow them to be where they are today.
Monday, August 11, 2008
The Odds
Wouldn't you know that when I WANT to do my scrapbooking, I don't have my pictures but now that I am tired, cranky, and don't want to do ANYTHING...they are here. I am sure I will do it later, but still, kind of rediculous.
Also, two new workers at my job in my hometown. One is pretty cool, the other is horribly annoying, creepy, and reminds me of an online preditor. How long will he last? Nobody knows....
I am at work in my college town right now and I really have nothing to do. Is it a bad sign when I feel interrupted by anyone calling or coming in? I think it's time to go home and take a nap...if I could only convince my boss that was the right thing to do...
Also, two new workers at my job in my hometown. One is pretty cool, the other is horribly annoying, creepy, and reminds me of an online preditor. How long will he last? Nobody knows....
I am at work in my college town right now and I really have nothing to do. Is it a bad sign when I feel interrupted by anyone calling or coming in? I think it's time to go home and take a nap...if I could only convince my boss that was the right thing to do...
Sunday, August 10, 2008
A couple random Poems
For those of you that don't know, I tend to write a lot of poetry. On occasion I will post some of it. Some of it is decent, some of it is written very poorly but I will probably still post it anyway.
Below is a song type poem I wrote and a sort of funny one below that. Hope you enjoy!
Blinded
If we can’t picture the beach
Through a single grain of sand
If we can’t sense the freedom by a single flying bird
If we can’t feel love by a simple tender tough
Than we are blinded by a fantasy set into our minds
By the blinded ones before us
If we can’t visualize the ocean
Through a small rolling wave
If we can’t discover a forest
Through a lonely little tree
If we can’t trust honesty
Through simple spoken words
Than we are blinded by a fantasy set into our minds
By the blinded ones before us
If we can’t see the sky
By just looking at a cloud
If we can’t hope for tomorrow
By making today worthwhile
If we can’t believe in life
After seeing a newborn baby
Than we are blinded by a fantasy set into our minds
By the blinded ones before us
Player
Player you’re called
I’d say they were right
They say you cheat
I‘d say you fight
Passing around
That’s just what you do
Stick to a shot?
That’s just not you
Now lets be fair
Player though you’re starred
That’s what you get
When you’re the point guard
Below is a song type poem I wrote and a sort of funny one below that. Hope you enjoy!
Blinded
If we can’t picture the beach
Through a single grain of sand
If we can’t sense the freedom by a single flying bird
If we can’t feel love by a simple tender tough
Than we are blinded by a fantasy set into our minds
By the blinded ones before us
If we can’t visualize the ocean
Through a small rolling wave
If we can’t discover a forest
Through a lonely little tree
If we can’t trust honesty
Through simple spoken words
Than we are blinded by a fantasy set into our minds
By the blinded ones before us
If we can’t see the sky
By just looking at a cloud
If we can’t hope for tomorrow
By making today worthwhile
If we can’t believe in life
After seeing a newborn baby
Than we are blinded by a fantasy set into our minds
By the blinded ones before us
Player
Player you’re called
I’d say they were right
They say you cheat
I‘d say you fight
Passing around
That’s just what you do
Stick to a shot?
That’s just not you
Now lets be fair
Player though you’re starred
That’s what you get
When you’re the point guard
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Letter to the Biased Editor
A few months ago we had some hate crimes at my college. Although it was a horrible problem, it brought out some of the best peer and community support I have ever seen. In fact it inspired me to write a letter to the editor of my hometown paper. The letter follows (edited to exclude personal information) but the surprise and issues with this are after that...
I am a graduate of This Community's High School and a first year student at A Small Private College. In high school, I always struggled between balancing great ideas and how to pursue them to enact change. I thought that in a small community that is deeply rooted in its beliefs, action was hard to take and change was hard to implement. Issues that arise in the community often seem covered up and glossed over even though it is not the right thing to do. The town my college is in is also a small community that has many things in common with this, my hometown. The difference, I have learned, lies in the response to hurtful and harmful actions and speech. Recently on campus there was a hate crime directed towards a girl because of her sexual orientation. In a small town, it may seem it would be okay to say that this sort of thing rarely happens and to just let it go. However, at this school, in this community, it is not okay. The whole community, college and residents alike, took action against this awful crime. Fear and hate are not tolerated. A racial slur, harassment because of sexual orientation, and general fear of “the other” is reason for action. We held a rally showing support for the queer community. There are many more events and long term plans being acted upon. This is a place of action. This is where people are people and support each other no matter what their sexual orientation or race. When people challenge our community, we fight back. When someone commits such a heinous crime, we stand together to make sure it does not happen again. It was amazing to see college students joining with faculty, staff, and community residents fighting for something they believe in. It was inspiring to know that, as an ally, I can use my voice to make a difference for my friends. I have found a place that is accepting of everyone, and when someone challenges this acceptance, we make it clear that we stand together. This made me think, why is it that this is a new experience for me? The same offenses happen in Hometown everyday. In high school people made cruel remarks and no one did anything. Around town people get jumpy when you bring up something “taboo.” Gang related ideas have posed threats to the community. Why has no one taken action against this? Why do the residents tolerate this? The police can only do so much to stop these things; it is up to the people to send a message to the perpetrators that hurtful and harmful acts will not be tolerated. I am not saying that a rally needs to occur; I am just asking that the next time someone says something you think is wrong or offensive, that you challenge their idea. Many people do not realize that when they say, “that’s gay” that it is offensive to a group of people. Challenge the ideas that people put in front of you. Challenge your own ideas. Do not just sit passively and hope that someone else will take care of it. Having a community means more than just living in the same place. It means everyone stand together for the right and just things. Having a safe community means protecting everyone’s safety. Living in a small town means you have the perfect place to enact change.
Now imagine my chagrin when I saw this printed in the Hometown paper with the (self-identified) Queer Community repaced with the Gay Community. First off I would like to say that NOT everyone in the queer community is gay. Second, the paper did exactly what my letter is asking people not to do. They replaced a word that really only means different or unconventional with one that applies to a small population of people in the real group. And they OBVIOUSLY did it without challenging themselves as to WHY they were replacing the unoffensive word with one that excludes a large amount of the people I was talking about in my letter.
When I saw people who commented me on this letter, I first explained the paper's error, then they gave me their view on the letter.
Most people thought I was "a very strong writer with a lot of good ideas" but that I would "only be let down when people didn't live up to my expectations"
Here's the thing. I do not expect anything from people. I hope that people take what I write and really encorporate it into their lives. Whether they think I am a genious or insane, I don't really care as long as they THINK about what I am writing and have some reaction to it relating it to themselves. Judging me was not the point of this post, I don't care if you think I am a silly idealist. I don't care if you think I will change the world. I only hope that it will affect you. Good or bad, whatever opinion you have about the ISSUE, share THAT, not what you think about my well-being. Lets get real here people, my life just isn't that interesting and I am never going to do anything to revolutionize the world. Every INDIVIDUAL person needs to revolutionize their own thinking, their own lives for any difference to be made. I only want to inspire people to make this change in themselves.
Perhaps I should have made this clear before I blindsided a small town with such "idealistic" suggestions.
I appreciate the people (that I can count without even using my toes) that understood the point of this letter and told me how much it really made them rethink their own ideas whether it be how they felt about the QUEER community or even how they felt about women in society.
Thank you college graduates. Thank you.
I am a graduate of This Community's High School and a first year student at A Small Private College. In high school, I always struggled between balancing great ideas and how to pursue them to enact change. I thought that in a small community that is deeply rooted in its beliefs, action was hard to take and change was hard to implement. Issues that arise in the community often seem covered up and glossed over even though it is not the right thing to do. The town my college is in is also a small community that has many things in common with this, my hometown. The difference, I have learned, lies in the response to hurtful and harmful actions and speech. Recently on campus there was a hate crime directed towards a girl because of her sexual orientation. In a small town, it may seem it would be okay to say that this sort of thing rarely happens and to just let it go. However, at this school, in this community, it is not okay. The whole community, college and residents alike, took action against this awful crime. Fear and hate are not tolerated. A racial slur, harassment because of sexual orientation, and general fear of “the other” is reason for action. We held a rally showing support for the queer community. There are many more events and long term plans being acted upon. This is a place of action. This is where people are people and support each other no matter what their sexual orientation or race. When people challenge our community, we fight back. When someone commits such a heinous crime, we stand together to make sure it does not happen again. It was amazing to see college students joining with faculty, staff, and community residents fighting for something they believe in. It was inspiring to know that, as an ally, I can use my voice to make a difference for my friends. I have found a place that is accepting of everyone, and when someone challenges this acceptance, we make it clear that we stand together. This made me think, why is it that this is a new experience for me? The same offenses happen in Hometown everyday. In high school people made cruel remarks and no one did anything. Around town people get jumpy when you bring up something “taboo.” Gang related ideas have posed threats to the community. Why has no one taken action against this? Why do the residents tolerate this? The police can only do so much to stop these things; it is up to the people to send a message to the perpetrators that hurtful and harmful acts will not be tolerated. I am not saying that a rally needs to occur; I am just asking that the next time someone says something you think is wrong or offensive, that you challenge their idea. Many people do not realize that when they say, “that’s gay” that it is offensive to a group of people. Challenge the ideas that people put in front of you. Challenge your own ideas. Do not just sit passively and hope that someone else will take care of it. Having a community means more than just living in the same place. It means everyone stand together for the right and just things. Having a safe community means protecting everyone’s safety. Living in a small town means you have the perfect place to enact change.
Now imagine my chagrin when I saw this printed in the Hometown paper with the (self-identified) Queer Community repaced with the Gay Community. First off I would like to say that NOT everyone in the queer community is gay. Second, the paper did exactly what my letter is asking people not to do. They replaced a word that really only means different or unconventional with one that applies to a small population of people in the real group. And they OBVIOUSLY did it without challenging themselves as to WHY they were replacing the unoffensive word with one that excludes a large amount of the people I was talking about in my letter.
When I saw people who commented me on this letter, I first explained the paper's error, then they gave me their view on the letter.
Most people thought I was "a very strong writer with a lot of good ideas" but that I would "only be let down when people didn't live up to my expectations"
Here's the thing. I do not expect anything from people. I hope that people take what I write and really encorporate it into their lives. Whether they think I am a genious or insane, I don't really care as long as they THINK about what I am writing and have some reaction to it relating it to themselves. Judging me was not the point of this post, I don't care if you think I am a silly idealist. I don't care if you think I will change the world. I only hope that it will affect you. Good or bad, whatever opinion you have about the ISSUE, share THAT, not what you think about my well-being. Lets get real here people, my life just isn't that interesting and I am never going to do anything to revolutionize the world. Every INDIVIDUAL person needs to revolutionize their own thinking, their own lives for any difference to be made. I only want to inspire people to make this change in themselves.
Perhaps I should have made this clear before I blindsided a small town with such "idealistic" suggestions.
I appreciate the people (that I can count without even using my toes) that understood the point of this letter and told me how much it really made them rethink their own ideas whether it be how they felt about the QUEER community or even how they felt about women in society.
Thank you college graduates. Thank you.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Things I need to learn to do
- make web layouts
- stop procrastinating NOW instead of tomorrow
- focus on one project at a time
- not get intimidated
- not be afraid of hights or spiders
- win free things
- speed read
- write in shorthand
- backhandsprings....again
- dance
This state sucks...really
If you have ever taken a road trip across the country and had the unfortunate encounter with Nebraska, you will understand, empathize with, and chuckle at this story.
As my mom was heroically driving across this state that has no hills, endless rows of corn, no animals, one lake with a boat on it, and a tree that everyone that has ever drivien through Nebraska can pin point on a map, one large bridge with a picture of a scary old guy on it in a town that is spelled wrong for the way they want you to pronounce it, and a couple of billboards. (there is also a town called Ogalala which inspired some revisions to the Christmas song Deck the Halls simply because there is nothing else to look at or do). It is the billboards this time that allow Nebraska to have a sense of humor in my book.
These large advertisements across the state were very eye catching as they were the only thing taller than the mechanically watered corn fields. Most of these billboards had missing pieces and only made me wonder if the farmer's still got paid the same amount to have a billboard on their property if only half of it was still up. One billboard, however, raised eyebrows and allowed chuckles, also perhaps may put Nebraska back on the map so to speak.
Somewhere after Kearny (which is about halfway through Nebraska and the last memorable town before you find out you are in a new time zone and thanking whatever higher power you worship that the next state is just ahead), there was a billboard advertiseing a casino who's name I cannot remember nor its location, nor did I see it anywhere near the interstate. I do remember, however, what the Casino's claim to fame was. Where I assume this casino wanted to advertise LOOSE PENNY SLOTS, each letter taking up one frame of the billboard, the top half of probably the most important letter in that statement was missing. Whatever casino paid for this advertisement would now have any interested interstate traveler requesting their LOOSE PENNY SLuTS.
I should have taken a picture, really, it was fantastic. But Nebraska is too boring a state to want to spend the extra two minutes it would take to pull over, get out, take the picture, and get back on the road, to actually do it.
As my mom was heroically driving across this state that has no hills, endless rows of corn, no animals, one lake with a boat on it, and a tree that everyone that has ever drivien through Nebraska can pin point on a map, one large bridge with a picture of a scary old guy on it in a town that is spelled wrong for the way they want you to pronounce it, and a couple of billboards. (there is also a town called Ogalala which inspired some revisions to the Christmas song Deck the Halls simply because there is nothing else to look at or do). It is the billboards this time that allow Nebraska to have a sense of humor in my book.
These large advertisements across the state were very eye catching as they were the only thing taller than the mechanically watered corn fields. Most of these billboards had missing pieces and only made me wonder if the farmer's still got paid the same amount to have a billboard on their property if only half of it was still up. One billboard, however, raised eyebrows and allowed chuckles, also perhaps may put Nebraska back on the map so to speak.
Somewhere after Kearny (which is about halfway through Nebraska and the last memorable town before you find out you are in a new time zone and thanking whatever higher power you worship that the next state is just ahead), there was a billboard advertiseing a casino who's name I cannot remember nor its location, nor did I see it anywhere near the interstate. I do remember, however, what the Casino's claim to fame was. Where I assume this casino wanted to advertise LOOSE PENNY SLOTS, each letter taking up one frame of the billboard, the top half of probably the most important letter in that statement was missing. Whatever casino paid for this advertisement would now have any interested interstate traveler requesting their LOOSE PENNY SLuTS.
I should have taken a picture, really, it was fantastic. But Nebraska is too boring a state to want to spend the extra two minutes it would take to pull over, get out, take the picture, and get back on the road, to actually do it.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
If Vacation is Heaven, Work is Hell
I got the wonderful opportunity to spend a week in the Rockies with my family. It was amazing to see the dynamics between the family members. As an adult in the family now, I hear and understand a lot more of the quips, fights, and jokes. As with any family there are are issues but watching everyone get along despite our huge differences is great.
Getting away from work was definitely needed. Trading out my computer, desk, and constantly ringing phone for Mountains, lakes, family, a wedding, and lots of trees was perfect.
I was so lucky to get to know my older cousin a little bit better and watch my younger cousins play with anything and everything that seems new to them.
White water rafting, go-kart racing, shopping, hiking, and developing the new family fortune business were just a few of the events that filled my week away. I shut off my phone and closed my eyes to the world at home.
Unfortunatly, I had to return sometime. When I returned to work yesterday, we had three shifts that went uncovered and had to call in other people, one person quit, one person sent home for innapropriate clothing, and no reports done the entire time I was gone. I sent an email to the innappropriate clothing girl and she apparently didn't like the idea that she could not wear whatever clothes she felt like, so she put in her two weeks notice. Another girl thinks that having a job is too much responsibility, so she put in her two weeks notice.
On the bright side, I got a promotion and will not have to deal with this stuff come September when everyone comes back to work.
While I was in the Mountains with my family, my father kept calling my mom and I constantly. Forget that we reminded him that we were roaming and can't afford to talk to him. Forget that we have told him repeatedly that we don't want to talk to him. Forget that he made our live's hell. Let him call anyway. He wants to move back in with us. We can't afford life with him in the house mostly because of the emotional toll he takes on us. I can't have someone that negative in my life right now. I have bigger things to worry about than what he is doing, thinking about doing, buying, wasting away on...you get the picture. This is the guy who didn't get a chance to send my birthday card even though he does not do anything and does not have a job. The same man who screwed up his last chance at a job by not showing up to work and not calling in for two weeks simply because he was constantly hung over. The father who doesn't understand that ignoring his children does not give him the right to be called father. The husband who wants to know how to save the house but won't keep a job to pay for it. The alcoholic that would rather die than put down the tequila bottle. We finally turned off our phones and tried to ignore his existance as much as humanly possible. We have gotten good at this over the last few months. More a fact of life than anything that brings sadness at this point.
Life at home is more complicated, more frustrating, stressful, and distant. But it's better than the alternative. I am glad to be back with my kitten, my new bonsai tree, working out, and large beds.
Can't forget that now I can watch Big Brother uninterrupted!
Loving life no matter what, No regrets, the smallest challenges making me stronger for the biggest ones.
Getting away from work was definitely needed. Trading out my computer, desk, and constantly ringing phone for Mountains, lakes, family, a wedding, and lots of trees was perfect.
I was so lucky to get to know my older cousin a little bit better and watch my younger cousins play with anything and everything that seems new to them.
White water rafting, go-kart racing, shopping, hiking, and developing the new family fortune business were just a few of the events that filled my week away. I shut off my phone and closed my eyes to the world at home.
Unfortunatly, I had to return sometime. When I returned to work yesterday, we had three shifts that went uncovered and had to call in other people, one person quit, one person sent home for innapropriate clothing, and no reports done the entire time I was gone. I sent an email to the innappropriate clothing girl and she apparently didn't like the idea that she could not wear whatever clothes she felt like, so she put in her two weeks notice. Another girl thinks that having a job is too much responsibility, so she put in her two weeks notice.
On the bright side, I got a promotion and will not have to deal with this stuff come September when everyone comes back to work.
While I was in the Mountains with my family, my father kept calling my mom and I constantly. Forget that we reminded him that we were roaming and can't afford to talk to him. Forget that we have told him repeatedly that we don't want to talk to him. Forget that he made our live's hell. Let him call anyway. He wants to move back in with us. We can't afford life with him in the house mostly because of the emotional toll he takes on us. I can't have someone that negative in my life right now. I have bigger things to worry about than what he is doing, thinking about doing, buying, wasting away on...you get the picture. This is the guy who didn't get a chance to send my birthday card even though he does not do anything and does not have a job. The same man who screwed up his last chance at a job by not showing up to work and not calling in for two weeks simply because he was constantly hung over. The father who doesn't understand that ignoring his children does not give him the right to be called father. The husband who wants to know how to save the house but won't keep a job to pay for it. The alcoholic that would rather die than put down the tequila bottle. We finally turned off our phones and tried to ignore his existance as much as humanly possible. We have gotten good at this over the last few months. More a fact of life than anything that brings sadness at this point.
Life at home is more complicated, more frustrating, stressful, and distant. But it's better than the alternative. I am glad to be back with my kitten, my new bonsai tree, working out, and large beds.
Can't forget that now I can watch Big Brother uninterrupted!
Loving life no matter what, No regrets, the smallest challenges making me stronger for the biggest ones.
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