Personal Statement

I have had a number of different ideas for my personal statement for law school applications but can't seem to put any of them on paper without thinking, "there's more to me than what is in that statement." How to I write a statement about how I learned to not be a victim of circumstance without sounding heartless? Can I throw in that I'm also the girl who saves kittens out of gutters and stops in the ghetto for a lost dog with a collar and call their owner?

How do I write a statement about how mock trial helped to show me leadership and also include how I was captain of teams in high school and a supervisor at work?

How do I write a statement about overcoming hardship when there's a C and a W on my college transcript the semester my dad died? "Hey, at least I didn't drop out" does not quite seem fitting.

How am I supposed to tell anyone in two pages that my dream is to go to a good law school, get a good education, prosecute criminals, understand the justice system, then do my best to help those who are victims? How to I tell a school in just two pages that my passion is standing in front of people who are judging every word I say and knowing that I am saying it in a way that will make me victorious? How do I tell a school that my just above average LSAT score does not reflect how much I will focus on being a law student? How do I tell that school that my college GPA is not as stellar as my high school GPA because I worked, I loved my job, I loved my friends, and I chose to participate in life in addition to academics.

How do I tell an admissions counselor who doesn't get to meet me that since 7th grade, I have wanted to be an attorney. How is it that I can have any amount of time in front of a jury to plead a case but I get two pages to tell someone why I should be able to follow my dream? How do I tell them that, if accepted, I will make it my mission to be the prosecutor who helps to put a huge name behind bars and who makes new policies to allow victims rights and to aid in their hardships. How do I tell a school that I will succeed, without a doubt, at whatever I set my mind to.

Perhaps I should tell them my goal is to be filthy rich and give gobs of money to whichever school admitted me first.

What a pain.

Free Write 1 - The Smell of Air In Winter

I grew up in Iowa, perhaps for more of my life than I would like to admit. Winter overtakes life in Iowa. Memories both bad and good come with every first snowfall: building tunnels and snowmen and forts, barefoot running to meet Michael in Iowa for the first time, frostbite after my first snowball fight when I was young.

In Iowa, the cold is dry, very different from where I call home now. The cold burns my nostrils and lungs when I first step outside. The air is crisp and clean and healthy, much different than the muggy mosquito summers in the same place.

The air in winter smells new. Then, quickly, I tire of summer and spend my time inside where the winter air smells like pine, hot cocoa, chili, and M&M cookies. As much as I hate winter, so many of my good childhood memories revolve around the snow. Even some of my great adult memories revolve around the snow. Maybe, as much as I have convinced myself to hate the cold, there really is a magic to that fresh winter air that allows beauty to endure in death and my five year old self to exclaim, "Look, Mommy, there's diamonds in the snow!"

Why I NEED a GPS for my birthday.

I get lost everywhere I go. If I have not driven there before by myself, I will, inevitably, get lost. For example, last week, I went over to my family members' house. On the way home, I took the interstate going the wrong direction. I thought, for some reason, that South was the way I was supposed to go but, I realized as the "Int'l Boarder" signs increased in frequency and lessened in milage posts, I was going the wrong direction. Tonight, coming home from the same family members' house, I knew not to take that highway, but I had forgotten to check the best way to get home. So, I headed in the direction I knew the freeway was and just thought I would go a bit further to find the Northbound freeway. I, instead, approached a "Do Not Enter" sign posted on the road that would take me any further. My options were to take a left turn into the scary residential area that I had no clue about or take the same Southbound freeway I took last time. I took the Southbound freeway deciding I would just turn around at the next exit. The next exit was another freeway, going in the wrong direction (at least I recognized it this time, though and did not take it). The following exit approached and I was going to take it when I saw another freeway, going in the right direction! I took that and ended up on my way home. This would not be such a big deal had I not spent an hour yesterday trying to find a street to get me out of a very traffic filled town, an extra 20 min a week ago taking what was apparently (my boyfriend informed me) "the loooooong way home," or a panic filled 15 min last Christmas season in a scary part of town trying to take my little cousins for ice cream and a merry-go-round ride. At least I still have Iowa license plates and people just see me as the annoying tourist and not the incompetent local.

Evening As A Waitress

Last night, a table asked me about my heritage. After telling them my main ingredients, one of the men said, "So, you are not Yugoslavian?"

"No," I replied, "Not that I am aware of."

"Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure."

"Oh, because you look very Yugoslavian. We all were convinced that you were."

"Are you sure? Because I think I probably look very confused."

Also, another table later in the night asked me about where I came from and I told them my story of beginning in California (starting off not so great with the comment, "I was born here when I was younger.") and growing up in Iowa. One of the women was so excited that I was from Iowa, she told me, "That's awesome! I always heard that Iowa was one of those mythical states that you hear exists but you never actually meet anyone that has been to Iowa much less is from Iowa." I told her, "Yes, it exists, believe me. I have tried to wish it away many times, but alas, it lives on. Maybe the people that go to visit it just get lost in the corn fields and never come out."

I Graduated!

Originally posted 4/23/11 on Grinnellplans.com

Well, today's the day. I should be getting a goodnight sleep before I face family in the morning. I should be dreaming peacefully and all that good stuff before I walk across the stage all sleepy-eyed instead of bright-eyed and bushy-tailed (like the great Grinnell Squirrels that will undoubtedly join an outdoor commencement ceremony). But, here I am, not sleeping. Wide awake. I still have a few things in my room to clear out, but that will get done after the ceremony. I don't think the concept of graduation has really hit me. I will drive out of Grinnell tomorrow the proud owner of a brand new bachelor's degree. What does that mean? To me it's kind of like getting my high school diploma. I always knew I'd get it eventually and it's really just a means to an end. I want to go to law school. I know what I am doing next year, and none of it requires having an English degree. I'm not sure I feel the accomplishment involved in getting this. Maybe that means I didn't work hard enough. Maybe it was too hard and my mind can't comprehend relief. I chose English because I liked it and I like the professors. I love to read and write. I love paper and pens and books and bookstores. I have literally gone into Barnes and Noble for stationary (which is right by the entrance) and walked out three hours later. In fact, I spent the last hour trying to figure out how best to spend my newly acquired Barnes and Noble gift card. I haven't done anything yet because I am not sure of my choices. It's an important decision. So many people have told me they could never complete an English major. I don't see how that's possible. It would have been hard for me to not complete and English major. I wanted to be a psych major, but had to work so I didn't have time for the labs. I had already taken 4 English classes by the end of my first year. I had stacks and stacks of books everywhere in my dorm and at home. I have a thousand journals, all half filled. It was the logical choice and I enjoyed it. I even loved most of the classes I took. I had some crazy visiting profs, but learned from each of them things that weren't exactly English major relevant, (such as the importance of Vitamin B, or the disaster that is someone who has no idea what women's studies entails and applying it to every short story) but interesting none the less. So, I'm not sure why this English major matters, or why this Bachelor's degree seems like another piece of paper to stick in a drawer, but I know it was the right process for me to go through. Sometimes I think, what if I had been a psych major or taken a bio class? I loved science in high school. The thing is though, I really believe studying those things more would have taken away from how much I enjoyed them in high school and perhaps my wonder about the world that I enjoy. Studying English only helped me to deepen my appreciation for the subject and wonder at the possibilities. No, I didn't push myself as hard as I should have, but I had a good time. I had a job, I had a life, and I had school. And now, I guess, I have a Bachelor's degree in English. Whatever that means.

Something I Love

While I do find waterfalls and bridges interesting and entertaining, what I really love is photography. I love being able to capture a moment as I see it, overcome the difficulties of technology making something NOT as I see it, and producing something that is again, what I saw. I like that photography preserves memories but also helps to recall other's memories. For example, you may not have ever been to this waterfall that I took a photo of in Oregon, but that does not mean that it doesn't draw up any memory or feeling for you. I think photography is a pure art. There is a lot you can do now with digital photography and what not, but if you stick to the basics, it's all about what you see in the places around you and how you portray those places to other people. What angle struck you? How is this different from the angles that strike others? Photography is also so relaxing and makes you look at the details of life rather than just the big picture because it's the details that make the big picture so amazing.

Something I Hate

The least initial deviation from the truth is multiplied later a thousandfold. ~Aristotle

I hate liars! This picture is applicable because it is my poor car after it was hit by a couple of girls in a rental car who, six months later, still can't tell the same story twice. I don't know how long it will be until I get my car paid for, but I swear I will get it paid for. I was not at fault in any way. The damage shows that. The fact that they have lied a thousand times shows they have something to hide. Why can't the just be good people and own up to what they did wrong? I feel like this is something that is applicable to SO many situations but SO few people follow through with it. Lying is just frustrating, wrong, and hurtful. In the end, when people find out the truth, it is going to be much worse for the liars because first there was something to lie about and second, obviously, they lied. I can't even express how frustrated I get when people lie. Just tell the frickin truth and everything will be better in the long run. For real. Just don't do it. It just pisses people off.

A Picture of My Favorite Book

This book isn't anything that represents me being an intellectual in any way. It isn't one that I can get pompous about when talking about favorite books in English classes. Nonetheless, it is my favorite book. I read it every year before or right after classes start. It reminds me about having imagination and looking at the details and the finer things, things I tend to forget throughout the school year. It's a children's book, one that makes an impression and reminds me not to look at the sidewalk while I'm walking because there are so many amazing things to focus on. I think everyone should read this book whether they are an adult or child. I do not expect everyone to like it, as I do, but it would be nice if people gave it a shot.

A person who has gotten me through the most

My mom has definitely been there for me through a lot in my life. Through losing boyfriends, skinned knees, stitches, and going off to college, my mom has been the one who has seen me through. In high school, I could have honestly called her my best friend and my close friends all called her mom, too. She worked at countless swim meets, watched basketball games, and came to mock trial tournaments. She counseled, listened, and parented, pretty much single-handedly. She coached my softball teams, was the "room-mom" in elementary, and chaperoned trips all over the state.

Though we have had our typical mother/daughter disputes, my mom was always there growing up.

A picture that makes me laugh

"It's the altitude," was the family mantra the week we spent in Colorado for my uncle's reunion. Clearly, this picture is a perfect example of that. My cousins may or may not have had a few drinks but I don't think that would have changed anything about what allowed this moment to be captured on film. Weird things happen when we all get together, but it wouldn't be quite as much fun without it!

My Most Treasured Item

My most treasured item has changed over the years and I am sure it will continue to change as time goes on, as my life changes, and as I reevaluate what is important in my life. However, at this time, my most treasured item is this photograph of my dad as a young boy. There are very few photographs of my dad as a child and I am lucky to have this one. It makes me wonder, what exactly was he like as a little boy? What were his biggest hopes and dreams? Was that dog his best friend? (I don't remember the name of that dog, though I am sure my mom or his brothers would remember) Did he ever dream he'd end up the way he did? I see potential and hope in this picture which is something I lost when he died. This picture re-invites my imagination to hope for a better future, not just for this little boy, but in general. It allows me to hope that changes are made for the better from now on instead of a spiraling path downward as we grow up.

What was this moment to my dad? I don't know, and I will never know; but to me, this moment captures the reason I want to be a better person, why I want to never let myself down, and why I never want my children to look at a picture of me and wonder, "What if?"

The Person I Would Love to Trade Places With For A Day

Janet Napolitano

I should start out by saying I would not want to BE Janet Napolitano, rather, trading places with her for a day would be an amazing experience. Perhaps it's because I am nosey and would like to know what's going on in the world or perhaps it is because I think there are so many problems pertaining to her department right now, I would love to be in the position to have my opinions heard. Either way, trading places with her for a day would give me an amazing opportunity to meet our country's leaders, be in a position in which they would listen to me, and of course give my peers the opportunity to meet Janet Napolitano as she attended my classes and worked my job. Funny thing, we are both in "security" positions, though that's probably about where most of our similarities end.

A Picture of My Favorite (Recent) Memory

I had to change my post to my favorite recent memory because the pictures of my favorite memory as a kid are in a box in my mom's house somewhere. So here is my favorite recent memory.

It was in Oregon in 2009, visiting my boyfriend for the first time. It was one of last days I would be there before I had to go home. I remember I was starting to not believe that Oregon got a lot of rain because it had been blue skies and sunny the whole week I was there. We had talked all week about going for a hike and that morning it was pouring rain. He kept asking me if I was sure that I wanted to go since it was so wet and gross outside; I kept replying yes, of course I did. I started to think that maybe he didn't want to go. I came to find out that he just couldn't believe I would actually want to hike in that weather. We didn't know that there was a parking lot close to the trail we were hiking so we walked about 7 miles in total for a 2 mile round trip trail! We ran into all kinds of little creatures on the path that probably wouldn't have been out if it wasn't raining. We dumped water bottles on each other and freaked out a little bit because that water was just a little colder than the rain water that had been pelting us all morning. We made it to the top of the extremely muddy trail, back down, and back to his dorm. During this time we learned a lot about each other, not necessarily through what we were talking about but how we handled all of it. I think he learned that I wasn't as much of a wimp as he thought I was. I learned that wanting to have adventures together is very important to me. I learned that a small accomplishment together can be a huge accomplishment for your relationship. This trip really set the tone for the rest of our relationship. We learned to trust each other and just enjoy each other. Let the little things go and believe that you can make it if you want to, rain or shine.

A Habit I Wish I Didn't Have

Oh nail biting. I don't do it when I am relaxed or having fun but as soon as I get stressed or am in a stressful situation, there go my nails. My nails usually look normal over breaks but as soon as I get back to school, they disappear. I could have worse habits, but this one is just plain annoying. And pretty gross, too, if you think about it.

30 Day Challenge: Cast of My Favorite Show

Though this is an early picture of the cast, even the later episodes are great. A lot of shows tend to lose their fire after the first three or four seasons but House follows through with its theme and doesn't lose what's great about it. Granted, the best episodes are the early ones with the original cast but, then again, change has never been my favorite thing and seeing as how I still think the later episodes are good, it definitely says something positive about the writers and actors in this show.

Me and Someone I Have Been Close With For A While

This boy has gotten me through some rough times and has stood by me even when other people were walking away. He's someone who knows you don't have to talk every day to be friends, will drop everything to help, and doesn't expect anything in return, but will definitely take a homemade meal if you offer. We have had some great times together including getting ready for drag show performances, Halloween parties, and just getting away to the Cheesecake Factory to escape from the world that is school.

We're both kind of bad at keeping in touch long distance over breaks, but back at school, nothing has changed. We catch up and everything goes right back into place. Honest, open, and trustworthy, I could call him my best friend at school.

Day 1: 15 Facts About Myself

1. I love orchids

2. I like road trips

3. I love photography

4. I wanted to go to photography school

5. I don't follow recipes

6. I have five inches of memory foam on my bed, and I love it

7. I got my first cell phone in 8th grade

8. I am an English Major

9. I own the entire original Babysitters club collection

10. The beach relaxes me

11. I get nervous performing for one or two people but don't mind performing for large groups

12. I enjoy working

13. I have learned that I don't want to fix people. I want to love them for who they are.

14. I don't have a favorite color

15. I believe balance is the most important part of life

30 Day Challenge

I have seen this 30 day picture challenge a few times and have decided I am going to give it a shot. My pictures each day will coincide with the following:

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with for awhile.

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

Day 04 - A picture of a habit you wish you didn’t have....

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

Day 10 - A picture of your favorite book.

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.

Day 12 - A picture of something you love.

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.

Day 17 - A picture of someone that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity.

Day 19 - A picture of you when you were little.

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget.

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite vacation.

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.

Day 25 - A picture of your day.

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.

Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of.

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile.

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss.